My Worst Secret

My Worst Secret Is…

I live out in a rural area.  The neighborhood probably has about 20 houses in it.  My neighbor across the street has a dog that he lets out and for some reason everytime he is out he comes and shits on my lawn.  I didn’t mind the first couple of times but after that I started getting pissed off everytime that dog would come over.  I confronted him about it and he insists that it isn’t his dog.  I was very nice and said ok.

Now instead of cleaning it up and putting the shit in the garabage, I become creative in where to put it.  I have put it infront of his mailbox, on his walkway, and by the garage, only hoping he steps in it.  For the past 2 weeks I have found the perfect place, on his roof.  How much dog shit can go up on a roof and sit there in the heat before he wonders wtf?  I feel so much better when I launch that shit and hear it hit on top of his house.  I wonder what happens next year when he is up putting up Christmas lights thinking how the hell did dog shit get up on his roof.  I hope he confronts me and I will tell him, “its not my dog.”

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