2010
02.25
(
0 rating,
12 votes)
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My Worst Secret Is….
In my second year of college I was abandoned by my entire family (for the second time), my first love became abusive towards me and I was also stalked by someone for six months. Everyone’s negative behaviour was rewarded (especially the stalker, who others percieved as being more talented than any of the people in my class and thus was protected. I was nearly expelled for speaking up even though they believed me and I was teased mercilessly by the other students from then on because they did not), and I came to believe that I was evil and worth far less than other people, so when my abusive ex finally kicked me out of the apartment we were living in I let the stalker take me physically in return for shelter. He did, then he got bored of me after a few months. I opened up to a professor about my depressed and anxious feelings and he used that to try to hook up with me. He was married and it was very unexpected so I was pretty horrified. I finished college but then we went our seperate ways and I had nowhere to go, so I ended up staying with someone with borderline personality disorder, whose influence made me about a billion times sicker. I was already very troubled and extremely afraid of people after my experiences to begin with, and I couldn’t find a job. I secluded myself for months and then, after months of living in squalor in near-starvation… While walking on a trail at 1am in the middle of winter I tried to kill myself.
For years it seemed like others had it far much easier than I… That evil wins over good. I struggled every day to make small gains in my life while those around me did terrible things to others and got away with it. I felt for the longest time as if the rules of Karma only applied to me… That the smallest evil thought or action would come back at me a thousand fold and everyone else was above the law. I was certain that I was evil and that I would soon die.
Then I made a few friends. People who were kind, considerate, intelligent and insightful… Literally the first people in my life who were consistently nice to me in four or five years… Not too long after that I got an amazing job. I used a chunk the money to go into therapy where I was diagnosed with depression. The stalker and I started speaking again on occasion and I realized that he was extremely isolated. Recently his parents (and only remaining family members) died. He tells me constantly these days that he has nobody that he feels close to and no reason to live other than achieving a goal he promised his mother he would accomplish on her deathbed. His incredible job means nothing to him.
Then last night my abusive ex called, and he said that he knocked up a girl on a one-night stand so they started dating and that a little while after the child was born he found out that she cheated on him a thousand times (both before, during and after her pregnancy). He did a DNA test and it came up as being his. They tried counseling and got engaged, but he couldn’t control his rage issues and she left him. He begged for me to come back to him but I said no.
To wrap things up, the above events have deeply affected me mentally and I have become very outwardly aggressive in my pursuit of what I want and in my seeking of things that give me pleasure (to the point where I am completely using people on a whim whch is something that I never would have done in the past). I forgave both of these men who damaged me but I don’t see either myself or other people as being very humane anymore. Essentially, I loved seeing the people who hurt me suffer and it was COMPLETELY necessary before I was able to forgive them.
In a way my biggest secret isn’t even any of this bullshit but what I intend to do from now on. I’ve become mercilessly cruel and I’m not ashaimed, deep down.
2010
02.25
(
+15 rating,
23 votes)
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My Worst Secret is…
I work as a mechanic for a shop…been there for about 3 years. I dont own the place or nothing, just one of like 4 guys. With the shitty economy right now were hurting as much as any other business around. Seems like people are getting repairs and stuff done less these days…or they are trying to do it themselves. Whatever it is…business is tough. Probably a year or 2 ago our boss sat us down to talk about “getting the most out of the service calls.” Basically, he told us that since things had been bad that when people bring their cars in, step up the replacements and services. I mean, its something that shops are doing everywhere. Like if you get your oil changed you get offered a new air filter, pcv valve, windshield wipers, and a hundred other things that you don’t actually need.
Like for example awhile back the first time I saw what they meant with that whole speech I had a car in where the temperature gauge wasn’t working. There were a few things that we could have done to figure out exactly what the problem was. Basically it was between the thermostat or the gauge would need to be replaced. When I went over it with my boss he told me not to go into it that much and reminded me on their whole thing about “tough times” and shit and to just replace the thermostat so that we could get it done quicker and be able to bill for the time spent on the labor. The diagnosis is “free” at our shop. I wasn’t really sure what to do so I just replaced the thermostat but it didn’t change anything…the temperature gauge still didn’t work. I talked again w/ my boss and he was all mad about it and said just to replace the gauge and to be done with it.
On that car, it was some Toyota or something a Tercel I think. The gauges were all integrated into the dash, they couldn’t be replaced individually so I had to replace the entire dash. Replacing the dash fixed everything and the gauge worked properly after that. I felt horrible about it. We didn’t take out the thermostat even though it wasn’t the problem at all. The total cost ended up being like $400 bucks even though something like $250 of it was from the thermostat and labor. The guy didn’t know the difference.
Another time after that, we had a car in that was pulling to one side and there was some vibrations or something while driving. The customer told the shop that they hit a curb or something while driving. They had just worked out a deal to fix bent rims so they had been pushing for us to use it as a fix for this kind of thing. 9 times out of 10 the problem is fixed with an alignment though. I think they charge something like $150 to fix a bent rim even though it takes like 10 minutes and maybe costs us $20. It didn’t look out of whack to me and when we spun it there didn’t seem to be any bad rotations or anything. But they sent it to get the rim fixed and when it came back we tested it out and nothing was different. After that, they told the customer that the alignment was out. Our shop always upsells the alignment from just 2 wheels to all 4 wheels needs alignment even if its pretty clear that the problem is only with a wheel or two. Its bullshit but whatever. So I did a 4 wheel alignment but didn’t see any problems with the rear wheels. They also told me to balance the tires since that was one of the easiest way to add onto the repair. They barely needed any adjustment.
In the end, the customer had like a $275 dollar bill when all they needed was a front wheel alignment which is like $40 bucks. I seriously went home that day hating life and everything but what can I do? Times are tough and I don’t want to be out on the streets. I already have to do side projects and shit to keep up with my bills. I haven’t told my wife or anyone about this because our friends and family bring their cars into my shop but I feel sick about it every damn day.
2010
02.21
(
+10 rating,
16 votes)
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My Worst Secret Is…
I’ve been married for 4 years. My wife was wonderful, and has turned out to be a mean, condescending bitch. We have our good times, but she yells more than she talks. The sex sucks. Given any, ANY opportunity, I will cheat on her. In fact, I hope to write to this site again in a few months with that secret. So why post this? I’m a loser who can’t get anyone better. I’m 27 and will be married to a woman I don’t really love for the rest of my life because she’s the best I can do.
2010
02.16
(
+14 rating,
36 votes)
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My Worst Secret Is…
She called me on the phone, obviously wasted. She was kind of wild and had a temper, and she was pissed that I had dumped her after two years. She was driving to my apartment to see me despite the fact it was Tuesday at 2am. She loved me. Wanted to clear things up. Wanted to get fucked. I told her no, but I wanted to fuck her again so I didn’t put up too much of a fight. She never arrived due to the crash. The Audi exploded on impact and she was in a coma for about 2 weeks. The first degree burns covered over 90% of her body and she had to learn to walk again. The wig she has to wear covers skin that looks like the orangy red processed cheese spread that comes inside of a little plastic yogurt type container.
Her face was spared…the doctors said she must have been fighting to push her face out of the flames to breathe as she was engulfed. The rest of her body just – I don’t know how to put this gently – melted. She went from being one of the hottest girls at school to being one of the most fucked up looking people you’ve ever seen. I visited her in the hospital about three months later and she told me she still loved me. I cried.
I fucked her younger sister, in the ass, about two weeks later. I met her for a drink to commiserate about her sister. The mom found out (I don’t think she knows about the anal part, but who knows) and kicked the younger sister out of the house. She was 17 and I heard recently she got hooked on heroin. Everybody knows about the burn victim, but nobody knows about the sister. The family blames me for the car crash, and the fact I fucked the sister was apparently a huge problem for the family. I am happily married with a pretty wife. My ex is basically a freakshow and her younger sister is basically on the streets – because of me.
2010
02.16
(
-63 rating,
97 votes)
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My Worst Secret Is…
I’ve been with the same shmuck loser for over ten years. We got married a few years back, and at this point I’m not even sure why.. After a few years together I started dropping hints and making comments about marriage, but because he has horrid credit and a dead-end job in the auto sales industry he couldn’t get the money together to get me a proper ring. So I got one for myself and told everyone that he got it. I am the bread winner in our household. I’m a strong willed confident woman who runs her own business. Aside from the ring, I pretty much pay for everything. He pretty much cooks and cleans everything. I make all of the decisions, occasionally allowing him to form an opinion, but really I ALWAYS get what I want. This is probably where things went south.. at some point I stopped respecting him and started treating him like shit. I mean I’m nicer to my dogs than him most of the time. I make him do all of the cooking and cleaning, and it doesn’t seem to bother him one bit. We put on a little facade for most of our family and friends so they don’t see exactly how much of a pussy he is, but even then people can tell who’s running the show.
I stopped seeing him as a man and started thinking of him as like a big doofy child that I could treat as my servant. I forgot to mention that I’m considered pretty attractive by most men and he’s out of shape and looks possibly midly retarded. He is very sweet though. For me its a double edged sword… I like having my own personal bitch, but I don’t see him as a man anymore. I can’t quite bring myself to break up with his worthless ass, because I worry that he might hang himself after being forced to move back in with his mother, so I’m stuck getting off with other guys who act like real men, while he stays home playing video games and folding laundry. I try to encourage him and tell him to get a better job, but he’s not that bright and he seems to be content just coasting along. I don’t know how long I’ll let this go on. I’m only getting older and I’m kind of insecure, so I may just stay with him.. I don’t think I could ever come out and have this conversation with anyone because I don’t have a lot of friends, and the few I do I have I wouldn’t want to know how messed up the situation really is. So, I share all of this with you, internet strangers, my personal confessional…
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