My Worst Secret

My Worst Secret is…

I think I’m pretty decent looking.  I have been told a LOT that I look like Brooke Burke and I get hit on a fair amount.  My breasts get a lot of attention and although they are bigger, they don’t sag.  I’m 28, I have a great job, I’m the LEAST crazy girl around, and I totally love watching football and drinking a beer.  I think I’m a good girl to date…for most guys that is.  The problem is that I have AWFUL gas.  I mean it’s really REALLY terrible and it seems to emerge more when I’m having sex, probably because I can’t concentrate as hard to suppress it.  Most of the time I can hide it or keep people from knowing but it has turned into a real hindrance in trying to have any kind of sex life, much less a boyfriend.

I have tried different approaches with it like joking about it or being straight up with people and it only seems to go so far.  It would appear that the line is crossed when a guy is doing me doggy style and I let out a fart that sounds like a car horn and smells like rotten eggs. It’s the most embarrassing thing and it makes me want to shrivel up and die because I, the girl, am grossing out GUYS by my farts.  Shouldn’t it be the other way around?

I have tried being a MEGA prude and not doing anything sexual with a guy so he isn’t turned off from the very beginning but how do I justify that?  It always sounds like BULLSHIT because I’m not religious so I can’t play that card.  I don’t really want to lie about my previous experiences so I can’t claim I’m saving myself or something.  Plus, i LOVE sex, it would be like going against my nature.  I hate this

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My Worst Secret is…

Im 32 years old and i was born a girl named Kristine. I was never satisfied with my identity and traditional gender roles growing up. So when i was 23 i began gender reassignment surgery. It took 5 years to complete and was probably the most difficult period of my life. From then on i have been Chris and i have been happier than ever I had been up to that point. Last year i met the girl of my dreams and i fell very hard.

We are supposed to get married next month and im starting to get nervous because she doesnt know…anything.  I have told her that i want to wait till marriage before we do anything sexual and she has been ok with that.  Mostly i never liked sex growing up and never had an orgasm. I have a penis but it doesnt like work or anything. I dont think she suspects anything but for the past few days ive been freaking out because i have no idea what to tell her after we get married. If she loves me then it shouldnt matter right? I dont know what to do. I think this has all been like some fantasy that i never thought would come true. Now that its here i think im screwed.

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My Worst Secret is…

So I am a freshman this year and let me just say that attending one of the biggest party schools in the US isn’t all that great. It started out all fun and games.  It’s now about two weeks in to the semester and the hazing keeps getting worse. Last weekend I tried to jump out a 4-story window and I cried when they pulled me back in. Even though I had been drinking I still think about that day. I wish no one had pulled me back from the window.
It is extremely hard being a student here, especially as a freshman. Being hazed is something i’ve come to deal with. I’ve been used for sex at the fraternity’s and have been locked in a closet for hours, forced to finish a fifth of smirnoff all to myself. I don’t know how I’ll ever make it through this or how I’ll talk to my parents but right now there’s nothing I can do about it.

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My Worst Secret is…

I bartended at this place that isn’t the coolest bar around but it’s also not a shit hole.  We got all sorts there but some of my favorite people to make fun of are the loser guys who try to get into every girls’ pants.  They are desperate as fuck and it made me laugh watching them strike out all night long.  One night this guy tried to roofie a girl who turned out to be another guy’s girlfriend.  Turns out the boyfriend got pissed and they started to go at it in the bar.  Our door guy came over and broke it up and took the roofies away from the tool.  They ended up just at the bar for a couple weeks and I think most of the other employees forgot about em.

I get bored a lot so when some of the skeezy guys would start hitting on every girl and basically pissing the whole place off I started slipping a roofie into their drink.  It worked out in a lot of ways.  These fags stopped scaring the girls away when they passed out early on.  They stopped getting into fights.  It was a win win situation.  I’m sure they woke up in the morning thinking they had a sweet night since they couldn’t remember.  I don’t feel bad.  If they had had the rohypnol I’m sure they would have used them to get pussy.

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My Worst Secret Is…

8 years ago me and a buddy frequented a pc cafe oriented towards gaming. These establishments were popping up all over the place due to popularity of LAN gaming such as with the games Counterstrike and Starcraft.

We installed a software called “Remote Administrator” in multiple computers so when we can mess with them when we got back home on our own computers.

We started out with subtle annoyances like making people die in death-matches using methods like pressing the chat key when they were in the middle of a firefight or binding certain keys to committing suicide when they were idle. We would mess with people’s AIM conversations by randomly throwing in swear words and starting arguments. Before they caught on to the fact that their computers might have been compromised, we were looping skat porn clips on idle computers. Ah, to be a kid again.

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