My Worst Secret

My Worst Secret Is….
As friends we always did stupid things in the middle of the night.  We never did anything to intentionally hurt anyone or destroy property.  One things that we liked to do is take signs out of the ground, pole and all, and place them at random people’s houses.  We were out in the country and decided to take a stop sign.  Not thinking anything of it we found it funny to place it right in front of our high schools door.  The next morning was hilarious as people were wondering where it came from.  The principal was trying to figure out where it came from.  We never said anything and didn’t understand why the principal was upset at the prank.

During lunch we found out that there was an accident out at the place we took the stop sign.  The person that was driving was hurt but did not die.  To this day, I feel bad about taking the sign and causing a wreck.

More from myworstsecret

• My Whole Life is a LIE!!
• I Am Psychic When It Comes To Female Underwear and Grooming….
• I Maced My House

My Worst Secret Is…

High School was the best of time of my life so far.  We figured out that we could climb through the ceiling and look into the girls locker room.  It was my best friend and I and we swore never to tell anyone.  We did this for our entire sophomore year.  It was great to see the older girls and we became friends with a lot of the Senior guys because they thought we had psychic powers on knowing the color of girls underwear.  Not only that, we could tell them what girls grooming was being done.  The older guys found this crazy that we knew after confirming this with certain girls they would hook up with.  They thought that we were actually hooking up with these girls and no one was telling.  It was the best year in High School.

More from myworstsecret

• I’m Married And Would Gladly Cheat On Her… | My Worst Secret
• I Maced My House
• I got the insurance money, Spent it all on Weed for a Year…

My Worst Secret Is…

Everyone know the awkwardness of being in Jr. High gym class.  For some reason there was always weird things happening.  I was the kid that had no friends and wanted to fit in.  There were always towel fights after class where there would be a huge whipping contest.  It was everyone for their self.  One war we were having there were probably 10 of us in the showers getting each other.  I got whipped so hard I fell over.  Unfortunately, it hit me in a spot that is supposed to feel pleasure not pain.  I didn’t want anyone to know so I acted like it was the stomach and went back to get dressed.   As I was in an extreme pain and getting dressed I noticed that I was bleeding.  I honestly thought that I would have had to go to the doctor and get stitches.  I didn’t tell anyone and had to put vaseline on just so it wouldn’t stick to my boxers.  Finally, after about a month the scab was gone and I was healed.  Now I have a scar and wonder what I should say if I am ever asked about it.

More from myworstsecret

• High School Spanish Grades…
• I got the insurance money, Spent it all on Weed for a Year…
• I Let Someone Pee on Me for Money…

My Worst Secret Is….

When I was growing up I had bad acne… and so never had any confidence with girls. Also grew up in a single sex school so never met any girls…first time I ever talked to a girl of my age was when I was 18. Am also short – 5ft 5 and asian so…yeah. FML. Shit poor chance at the romance sweepstakes. Even the asian girls want to go out with white guys.  I guess I was the romantic type because I kept holding out for the one special girl who I would lose my virginity to and eventually marry. But girls would keep turning me down. No girl ever pictured me as Prince Charming I guess. I’ve never had a girlfriend in my whole life.

Got so bad that I was still a virgin at 26. Like I said, no confidence.

So then I woke up and realized it wasn’t happening so I went to see a prostitute (it’s legal in Canada – well sorta)  After that, I got hooked. Every 2 weeks I would go see a different one….for about C$250. It was exciting and thrilling knowing I could go see a girl I had read about and just pay her for sex. Then walk away with no regret.  2 years later, I moved to another city that had cheap flights to Cuba…then started going there more often. It was only $300 for a return ticket and I would go there for a week and f my brains out.

The girls only charged $50 and they were awesome. I’d meet them at clubs just like here but I was treated like Brad Pitt. Later I’d bring them back to my casa particular and do them. They loved to have sex and so fun. Sex is the national sport. In Cuba, you’re the man…you don’t feel like you have to beg for approval.  After that trip, I’ve whored in Dominican republic (C+), Honduras (B-), Colombia (A+), Thailand (A), Indonesia (A), Cambodia (B+), Hong Kong (B) and Czech Republic (B). Generally I never pay more than $50 for a go…Indonesia is dirt cheap.

I’ve had hard core sex with gorgeous girls who I wouldn’t have had a prayer of dating in North America. Soooo far out of my league but sooo close within my wallet. I’ve always treated them well…but just be careful don’t fall in love with them.  I’ve been with asians, latinas, black girls and white girls too. Latinas are the best. If I ever marry, she’d be latina.I use a condom all the time of course and have never caught anything. Now of course I won’t say it’s an awesome experience all the time (some girls just lie there), but still better than staying home and striking out all the damn time. It’s hard being a short asian guy in North America.

It hasn’t been the same since…it’s like my eyes were opened. Now I laugh at guys in North America and the games they have to play. I don’t think I can ever go back to normal dating now.  Plus…do you really think marriage will make you happier? 50% of all marriages end in disaster and the guy mostly ends up footing the bill. Out of the remaining 50%, half of them are unhappy. My boss paid $55,000 to lawyers for his divorce – that could have funded 15 of my trips, champagne style!!!!

Break free of the matrix boys. There’s a whole life to be lived out there.

More from myworstsecret

• I am a married man that hooked up with a guy.. | My Worst Secret
• I jerked off into a sub sandwhich for a bitch of a customer
• I’ve had a love relationship w/ a girl 24 years older than me starting when I was 16 | My Worst Secret

My Worst Secret Is…

I live out in a rural area.  The neighborhood probably has about 20 houses in it.  My neighbor across the street has a dog that he lets out and for some reason everytime he is out he comes and shits on my lawn.  I didn’t mind the first couple of times but after that I started getting pissed off everytime that dog would come over.  I confronted him about it and he insists that it isn’t his dog.  I was very nice and said ok.

Now instead of cleaning it up and putting the shit in the garabage, I become creative in where to put it.  I have put it infront of his mailbox, on his walkway, and by the garage, only hoping he steps in it.  For the past 2 weeks I have found the perfect place, on his roof.  How much dog shit can go up on a roof and sit there in the heat before he wonders wtf?  I feel so much better when I launch that shit and hear it hit on top of his house.  I wonder what happens next year when he is up putting up Christmas lights thinking how the hell did dog shit get up on his roof.  I hope he confronts me and I will tell him, “its not my dog.”

More from myworstsecret

• Vandalized my neighbor’s house | My Worst Secret
• I Find My Relaxation On Craigslist…. | My Worst Secret
• On My Brothers Face…. | My Worst Secret