My Worst Secret

My Worst Secret Is…

So I have been dating my now fiance for a little over a year.  I have been through bankruptcy and my home and car has been taken away from me.  I have been driving a car that a place financed me cause I can’t get financed anywhere.  I have made myself look as a very wealthy business person who is high up at my company.  I had to call in sick to work the day of the Christmas party so my fiance wouldn’t realize I am a nobody at work.  I make $14/hour.  I keep getting home magazines and go home shopping with her trying to “find” the one we will be living in.  I would never be able to get a loan, much less qualify for one.  Every dollar I get I save so we can go somewhere nice to act like I have money.  Now that she said yes to me and I have to break the news.  I am broke and the apartment I live in is my home, not because I sold my mansion and looking for the right one for both of us, but because I was foreclosed on my last one.

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My Worst Secret Is…

I am so pissed at my girlfriend, probably now an ex, but still a girlfriend.  She always thinks that I never do anything for her and never care for her.  She thinks that her shit doesn’t stink and that her pussy is made out of gold (probably the reason I don’t get any, gold is expensive these days).  I have two jobs and we live together and I pay for all the bills.  She is a server and makes enough money to buy her weed and go out at nights.  She never wants me to go out and expects me to be around.  I work so much that I don’t really have the time.  So tonight I called my ex to come over and told her that I have been missing her.  Things got hot and heavy and we moved to the bedroom.  We decided to turn on the camera on our computer and record ourselves, right on my girlfriends bed.  Now I have the decision to either delete the show we recorded or let my girlfriend realize that my ex is way better in bed than she is and then she will leave me and take the bed I was getting it on with my ex on.  Who knows maybe I will just make a collection of videos and email it to her telling her to come get her bed out of my place.

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My Worst Secret Is….

I had the worst roommate you could ever have.  She never did anything around the house and would blame everything on me and my other roommate.  One night she was gone and we decided to get her back.  We had some guys come over and we unzipped her pillow and took out the stuff inside it.  The three guys then “relieved” themselves on the stuff inside.  They then used a blow dryer and put the stuffing back in the pillow and placed it back on her bed.  She has the pillow still and everytime she lays down I wonder if she has just got used to the smell because I just smelled it and it is so bad.  Stupid bitch, I hope she thinks that smell comes with all pillows.

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My Worst Secret Is…

I deal drugs and have spent time in prison and am well known around town for dealing drugs.  I get pulled over and searched frequently.  On one night, I was with my girlfriend and had a few bags on me.  I saw a cop traveling in the other direction and knew I would be pulled over for speeding.  I began hiding the bags inside my girlfriend because I knew I would be searched.  I am very careful in having nothing in my car to get me back in prison.  Unfortunately, this would be the only place that I could hide it.  Sure enough, we both got searched and my car did to.  Nothing was found and I ended up paying for it later in the shopping spree my girlfriend went on.  Moral of the story, always be on your toes when hiding the goods.

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My Worst Secret is…

I’m a Highway patrolman is a midwest state.  I was working the late shift looking for drunk drivers on a long stretch of highway between a big city and some suburbs.  I noticed a silver car driving erratically and decided to pull it out to see how much they had been drinking.  When I walked up to the car the guy was in tears because he had already got a DUI before and knew what was coming.  The guy offered me anything to let him go as he said he was just a mile or two from home.  It was right before Christmas and I noticed he had bought an xbox 360 for his son earlier in the night in his back seat.  I knew my son wanted one but I just couldn’t afford it with the pay I get being a patrol officer.  I told him “Would your son rather have his Dad or the Xbox for Christmas….”  He gladly gave me the gaming system and I let him go, just to be sure I followed him all the way home to make sure he didn’t crash.  I know this is wrong but I wanted to make my son’s dreams come true and just be easy on a guy trying to get home to his family.

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